Yesterday was an interesting day here at our home. Things have been changing and I think I’ve been fighting it.
Both my princesses are in high school this year. And this year is our first year doing a co-op. I knew going into it that it would change our lives some, but I guess I underestimated how much.
It’s one of those things where you see things changing and your not sure if you like it or not, so you immediately get your defenses on and start battling against it.
Well, this is how I have felt the past couple days.
Both my princesses desire to do more work on their own. They want to take what they are assigned at co-op and work at their own pace.
In the past, we have always spent a lot of time together on the couch, reading, taking notes, discussing, and working things out, but I guess that is going to change.
Yesterday we sat to work on Chemistry together and I could sense one of my princesses was struggling with the ‘working together’ part. Some ‘discussion’ came up about attitudes and obedience and in the end, she was told to leave and do it on her own.
After spending some time in prayer and just laying it out before Him, I sensed that Yes, some of it was disobedience, but a lot of it was me trying to hold on to things that I needed to let go of. Since this was not the only time we have come to head to heads on things, I needed to step back and see if it was me or them.
It was me. I need to find the balance. Letting them grow and work on their own, but also being there for them when needed and loving them in both places.
It’s a little sad because I guess it’s making me realize that they ARE growing up and they need to learn things on their own. If they do it wrong or fall down, they are big enough to pick themselves up and dust themselves off and learn.
God reminded me that THROUGH HIM I have been able to build a strong foundation on which they stand.
First on the path is the holding and carrying stage – when their young and can’t do it on their own
Then there’s the walking alongside holding hands – to help direct and keep safe
Next is the walking beside with NO hands – so they can explore but still be under protection and guidance
And now I guess we are at the next stage…
Where they start to walk ahead, looking back every once in awhile or even stepping back for guidance.. but starting to take off on their own.
So many thoughts are running through my head. Trying to grasp this new stage. It’s exciting but scary. Thrilling yet sad.
I’m sure I’ll be back to share more…