What’s the secret to happy and healthy relationships? Beyond saying that it takes work, patience, and meeting each other in the middle, it also takes knowing each others love languages. Learning about the different characteristics of these languages and what each persons love language actually is, can help all your relationships thrive and be more healthy.
The popular book by Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages – The Secret to Love That Lasts, has been a #1 New York Times Bestseller for years and has helped many marriages. I want to share with you though that you don’t have to be married to benefit from this concept. Putting these concepts to practice in your day to day life can help anyone, no matter their relationship status.
Why Should I Know These?
Have you ever traveled to a foreign country and been frustrated because you didn’t know the language and vice versa?
That is actually what it is like when two people, whether married or not, get together and try to do life together. They start out excited and adventurous, but soon become frustrated when the other isn’t communicating well or understanding what their needs are.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, after spending some time together, we all could pick up on what each others love languages are and know what each other needs to feel loved?
Now I’m not saying that knowing these five love languages is going to make all your relationships perfect and happy, but it can help you to understand where the other person is coming from and what they are looking for in any type of relationship.
It Even Works In Friendships
We all love having those close friends who know us like no other. They know our secrets, our fears, and what makes us happy. Yet sometimes we often get our feelings hurt or hurt others and we don’t understand why.
It may be because we said or did something wrong, but it also may be that our love languages aren’t being understood, which in turn can start to make us feel empty in that friendship.
Knowing what your closest friends love language is can make a huge difference in your friendship.
What a great way to show love to your friends then to fill up their ‘love tank’ , so to speak, when needed.
What Are The 5 Love Languages
According to Dr. Chapman, in his over 30 years of counseling experience, every person has a primary and secondary Love Language.
Here are the 5 Love Languages and How to Communicate Them
Receiving Gifts – giving thoughtful gifts and or gestures, make the person a priority, expressing gratitude/thankfulness when given a gift.
Words of Affirmation – using words to encourage, affirm, appreciate, empathize, and to listen carefully. Send unexpected note, text, or card. Try to remember words of encouragement daily.
Acts of Service – doing things for them, asking “what can I help you with” or “let me help you”. Let them know you are there for them.
Physical Touch – no words needed for this one. Hug them, kiss them, hold hands with them. Show that you care for them by physically touching them.
Quality Time – Make time with that person special. Focus on them. One on one time. Create special moments. Take walks or do small things together.
Start With Finding What Your Love Language Is
One of the keys to any healthy relationship is being healthy yourself. Part of that is knowing what you need or desire from others to feel loved.
Over on the 5 Love Languages web site, you can find the quiz that will help you distinguish what your primary and secondary love languages are. You can do the online version or download the PDF version.
Knowing what your love language will not only help those around you know how to express love more, but it will also help you to communicate what you need. It’s a win win.
Next, Pass This Knowledge Along
After you find out what your love language is, share the quiz and information with those closes to you. Make it date night activity or a fun thing to do over coffee with your best friend.
What better way to say I Love You then making knowing you and themselves even easier!
How About You?
Have you ever done a Love Languages quiz? Or maybe you just know what makes you happy. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think!
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