“Come on Mikki… let’s go for a horseback ride. I think it would be fun to just jump on the horses, take a trail ride, and let’s talk”
That’s how I would probably start a conversation with my 8 year old self.
At 8 years old I was just starting to figure out who I was. The rebellious spirit was starting to take root and it’s about this time that I really started thinking that I didn’t like this ‘God’ that my family kept talking about.
“Mikki. I’m thinking you have a lot on your mind. You don’t have a lot of close friends and you’re a little confused about what all this ‘growing up stuff’ is about.
You LOVE to ride horses but no one really understands that. Your friends like to sit and write secret letters and make up ‘clubs’ to join. One minute they like you and the next they are stabbing you behind the back. What do you do?
Life at home is pretty nice. Mom works hard all week, while grandma and grandpa help around the house, you love having them live with you, but don’t really understand why this ‘God’ that your mom and grandparents love, allowed your dad to die when you were a little baby.
There’s a lot going on and I could go on and on, but I just wanted to chat a little with you about the BIGGEST problem you are just starting to have.. and what will become something you’ll wrestle with for quite awhile.
There’s an emptiness in your heart isn’t there? Just a feeling that lingers that says ‘something’s missing’. You blame it on your dad dying when you were little and you’ll blame it even more later when your grandfather gets sick and passes away…
The IT you blame is GOD. Yes!! The GOD some people have told you ‘needed a good person in heaven’ and that’s why He took your dad away. Not what a little girl wants to hear, right?.. I agree..
First Mikki, let me tell you.. to try and save you A LOT of heartache.. that is NOT why God allowed your father to pass away so young. God had/has a greater purpose in ALL He does. Even for your life.
Don’t try to get through life filling that ‘emptiness’ you feel with things that will just do you more harm than good.
Respect yourself enough that you won’t seek attention from boys/guys all the time
Treat your body like the beautiful creation it is and don’t mistreat it with things like alcohol and drugs
When God DOES bring the man that will be your husband into your life, save yourself and him some pain, and be nice.. respect him from the get go and cherish him for all he’s worth.
And be prepared… God’s going to bless you with two AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL daughters, who will just overwhelm you with love.
But most of all… that emptiness you feel.. that’s going to go away the minute you meet Jesus..
The minute you open your heart to the possibility that God DOES love you. That He’s not the overpowering, careless, selfish, overbearing god you always thought He was.
Open your heart to Him. See that HE… only the I AM.. will be the ONE who fills that emptiness..
Because He put it there..
22 Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said: “People of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. 23 For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: to an unknown god. So you are ignorant of the very thing you worship—and this is what I am going to proclaim to you.“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. 25 And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. 26 From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ~ Acts 17:22-27
You’ll get there. You may not believe it now, but there will come a time when you’ll find yourself on your face, praying and asking God to redeem your life. And when He does.. that emptiness goes away.. I promise.
So Mikki, at age 8… you don’t know everything, but you will figure some stuff out.
Don’t be mad at God so much.
Be kind to others and especially your mom.
Try not to resist reaching out, believing in, and putting your trust in God.
This is a letter to myself. Written by myself.
Well, this September is Blog Month with Compassion International and I wanted to join in. They asked the Compassion Bloggers to write a letter to their younger self.. and so there you have it..
Compassion has been an amazing blessing in our lives. Being able to sponsor a young boy in Africa for over 8 years has impacted our family greatly.
Being able to touch a young boy in Africa with the love of Christ and the material blessings God has given us… leaves me almost speechless.
To find out more about Compassion International.. just click Here..